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Marriage Can Only Paper Over Your Personal Life’s Cracks, It Cannot Fix Anything


The harsh reality of the current society in India is that marriage is still considered to be the ‘be all and end all’ goal of anyone’s life. Everything we do as teens, and adults is to one day be an eligible bachelor or spinster. Because of the pedestal that we have placed the institution of marriage on, it is hard for us to accept that any relationship, legally binding or not, can be flawed. Marriage counseling as a concept is still frowned upon in most of the today’s Indian society. So much so that people continue to be in toxic marriages because even thinking about separation is blasphemous. However, sooner rather than later, people will have to understand that whenever two individuals are involved, conflicts are bound to happen. Those conflicts go up a few notches when one of the people, or both, have deep underlying issues of their own. And they never really worked on them because the society made them believe that marriage fixes everything, including them.

No matter how grave a problem someone might be going through, they are always made to believe that getting married is the ultimate solution. However, that is as far as anything can get from the truth. Your issues do not just disappear once you are married. In fact, they surface every now and then just because of the dynamic that you are in now. Mental health counseling for people suffering from an issue is extremely important and no relationship can ever substitute it. We need to recognised that mental health issues are just as important and pressing as a physical health issue. If you break your leg, arm, and ankle, you will postpone your wedding, right? Then why go ahead with it if you realise that you are suffering from depression or anxiety or any other form of mental illness? The best way forward is to gather yourself, keep your loved ones around you and seek therapy. Remember, there are no substitutions for therapy.

Another reason for this archaic overarching thought process is the apprehension towards therapy in general. The Indian society has still not come to terms with the fact that people need help to function properly, and that not everything is about getting physically hurt. Trauma can stun you, paralysis you and stunt your growth as an individual. But the narrative, at least in urban India, is on an upturn. Therapy methods like group counseling is a lot more commonplace and readily accessible than they were a few years ago. What this does is that it allows people to accept that they have an issue, because a cure is just around the corner. They do not have to hide their mental illness to fit in. The hope here is that soon, the majority of the Indian society will realise this and stop believing that marriage can fix everything. Let us hope that day comes sooner rather than later.

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